I Offer You Water (In Case You Are Parched Post-Orgasm)

I Give You My Jacket Because You Are Cold

I, Your Pool Boy, Clean Your Pool

I Deliver You A Pizza And Don't Put My Weiner In It

Stud Raw Dog Listens To You When You Speak

I Blow You A Platonic Kiss

I Abstain From November Nuts With You

I Disinfect the Casting Couch

I, Your Plumber, Actually Fix Your Pipes

I Read a Book And Am Not Orgasming While Doing So

I Bring You Some Tums

Stepdad Wishes Daughter Goodnight Then Watches Hoosiers in the Other Room

I, Your Real Estate Agent, Just Show You The Property